MeFantasticLife

The Price of Art

2009-08-20T23:43:00.010+08:00

.
Ali G
.

.
Borat
.

.
Bruno
.

.
and
Sacha Baron Cohen
as
all of the above
.

"The first prerogative of an artist in any medium
is to make a fool of himself."
Pauline Kael
.

Farewell My President

2009-08-05T13:19:00.005+08:00

"I thank God for making me a Filipino.
And I thank everyone for making me one of you."
.
Cory Aquino
(1933-2009)
.

Who Wants to Live Forever?

2009-07-22T16:49:00.003+08:00

I am Connor MacLeod of the Clan MacLeod.
I was born in 1518 in the village of Glenfinnan
on the shores of Loch Shiel.
And I am immortal.

Connor Macleod
(Christopher Lambert)

Messy Spirituality

2009-07-20T16:27:00.002+08:00

"We are told that when Jesus comes into your life he takes all the disparities, all the odd ups-and-downs of life, all your struggles, and gives you balance. That's baloney -- it's a lie. I think Jesus makes our lives lopsided and crazy."

Mike Yaconelli
.

Divine Sadness

2009-07-20T00:46:00.004+08:00

"God did not create anything more beautiful than sadness."
.
Forugh Farrokhzad
(1935-1967)
.

20 Years of Lunacy

2009-07-20T00:14:00.003+08:00

We choose to go to the moon and do the other things,
not because they are easy, but because they are hard.

John F. Kennedy
Rice University, Houston, Texas
September 1962
.

The Fog of War

2009-07-08T15:52:00.004+08:00

"I want to say, and this is very important: at the end we lucked out. It was luck that prevented nuclear war. We came that close to nuclear war at the end. Rational individuals: Kennedy was rational; Khrushchev was rational; Castro was rational. Rational individuals came that close to total destruction of their societies. And that danger exists today."

Robert McNamara
(1916-2009)
.

When You're A Man

2009-07-03T00:21:00.004+08:00

When you're a man,
sometimes you wear stretchy pants in your room
just for fun.

Jack Black
Nacho Libre

Pop Star

2009-06-28T20:38:00.002+08:00

Nihilism is best done by professionals.
Iggy Pop
.

Amazing Grace

2009-06-28T02:27:00.003+08:00

I wasn't born this way.
One creates oneself.
I believe whatever I dream.
Whatever I dream,
I want to do.

Grace Jones
.

Remembering Francis

2009-06-26T12:11:00.002+08:00

Francis Magalona
(October 4, 1964 - March 6, 2009)
.

Goodbye Michael

2009-06-26T10:53:00.006+08:00

Michael Jackson
(August 29, 1958 - June 25, 2009)

Goodbye Angel

2009-06-26T01:14:00.002+08:00

Farrah Fawcett
(February 2, 1947 - June 25, 2009)
.

Theological Balance

2009-06-20T04:52:00.007+08:00

Pray
as if everything depended on
God.

Work
as if everything depended on
you.

Kite Poetry

2009-06-19T03:28:00.003+08:00

Tatlong bagay

ang aking natutunan.

Ang pag-asa

ay walang hanggan,

ang pag-ibig

ay walang hadlang,

at lilipad ang saranggola

sa ulan.

Gary Granada

Liberation Theology

2009-06-17T23:48:00.004+08:00

The poor person does not exist as an inescapable fact of destiny. His or her existence is not politically neutral, and it is not ethically innocent. The poor are a by-product of the system in which we live and for which we are responsible. They are marginalized by our social and cultural world. They are the oppressed, exploited proletariat, robbed of the fruit of their labor and despoiled of their humanity. Hence the poverty of the poor is not a call to generous relief action, but a demand that we go and build a different social order.

Gustavo Gutierrez
.

Hollywood Ambitions

2009-06-16T03:55:00.006+08:00

"If you're really serious about breaking in, start at the bottom." (Susan Beavers, Writer/Producer)

"It really boils down to a combination of things: a good resume, some contacts, the willingness to do the work, and qualities that set you apart from the pack." (Bruce Berman, CEO, Village Roadshow)

"If you have a point of view, and you have the ability to articulate that point of view, you have a good chance of breaking in." (Roger Birnbaum, CEO, Spyglass Entertainment)

"If they tell you you're no good, don't believe them." (Erika Christensen, Actor)

"Hollywood is always looking for people who aren't afraid of twenty-hour days." (Roger Corman, Producer/Director)

"Do everything in your power to make it happen, but be realistic." (Charles Dutton, Actor/Director/Producer)

"Good luck is when you get an opportunity and you've done all the hard work and everything comes together." (Jack Epps Jr., Writer)

"If there's one thing you need to understand about show business, it's that it is mostly about rejection, and that you're going to need a great deal of stamina to survive." (David Frankel, Writer/Director)

"Don't wait for Hollywood to give you something, because it generally doesn't happen that way." (Eva Gardos, Editor/Director)

"Try to figure out what you're doing wrong, and stop doing it wrong." (Alan Gasmer, Agent, William Morris Agency)

"The people who are enthusiastic, who give it everything they've got, who work hard to solve problems and are 100 percent committed to the job -- these are the people who will succeed." (Gale Anne Hurd, Producer)

"You need to work harder than the next man, trust your gut, and pick the right projects." (Jay Kanter, Agent/Producer/Studio Executive)

"When you have passion, there's no stopping you." (Sally Kellerman, Actor/Singer)

"Learn from the masters: watch as many old movies as you can." (John Landis, Writer/Director)

"The key is not to be frightened off by the surprises life throws at you." (Michael London, Producer)

"That's key: an almost crazy amount of self-confidence. Without it, you're doomed." (Caryn Mandabach, Producer)

"The one component that connects all successful people, here and elsewhere, in any endeavor, is that none of them ever quit." (Todd Robinson, Writer/Producer)

"Study everything. Get to know everything... And practice practice practice." (Lalo Schifrin, Composer)

"You have to want this -- writing, acting, directing -- more than anything else in the world, because there really is no rhyme or reason for success in this business. The more you know, the less you know." (William A. Schwartz, Writer/Producer)

"I think that's what it's all about: the willingness to do it. I had made a decision to achieve my goals by any means necessary, and that's what it takes." (Kevin Rodney Sullivan, Writer/Director)

How I Broke Into Hollywood
(Success Stories from the Trenches)
Pablo Fenjves and Rocky Lang

Darth Water

2009-06-16T03:52:00.000+08:00

No Country for Old Men

2009-06-14T23:51:00.011+08:00

"I always figured when I got older,
God would sorta come into my life somehow. And he didn't. I don't
blame him. If I
was him I would have the same opinion of me
that he does."

Ed Tom Bell
(Tommy Lee Jones)

A Killer Life

2009-06-14T14:10:00.006+08:00

Chapter 1: Getting Used to the Dark
Lesson: Make yourself necessary.

Chapter 2: Target Practice
Lesson: Make the right enemies.

Chapter 3: Unreleasable
Lesson: Talent can come from anywhere.

Chapter 4: Pitching, Buying, Begging, Stalking
Lesson: At the Cannes Film Festival, everybody's a prostitute.

Chapter 5: Crashes and Burns
Lesson: Learn to walk away.

Chapter 6: All That Heaven Allows
Lesson: If you've got to screw up, do it for the right reasons.

Chapter 7: Dylan in Turnaround
Lesson: Act like it's happening until somebody tells you otherwise.

Chapter 8: Locking Picture
Lesson: The best films don't come from compromise.
They come from collaboration.

Chapter 9: A Tale of Two Trumans

"A Killer Life"
(How an Independent Film Producer Survives Deals and Disasters in Hollywood and Beyond)
Christine Vachon
2006

The Kiss

2009-06-12T22:24:00.003+08:00

And there it was,
a kiss.
And oh, what lies there are in kisses!

Shortcut to Happiness

History Lesson 2

2009-06-12T00:22:00.002+08:00

The Duet

2009-06-11T00:04:00.006+08:00

In 1960, Frank Sinatra welcomed Elvis Presley home from the army in a televised "Frank Sinatra Show" special. Together for the first time, and for the last time, the two legends performed together. The two will have other meetings after this, but this event will never be repeated nor equalled. Sinatra sang Elvis' "Love Me Tender", Presley sang Frank's "Witchcraft". Television history in black and white.
.

Gentle On My Mind

2009-06-10T22:12:00.006+08:00

It's knowin' that your door is always open

And your path is free to walk
That makes me tend to leave my sleepin' bag
Rolled up and stashed behind your couch
And it's knowin' I'm not shackled
By forgotten words and bonds
And the ink stains that have dried upon some line
That keeps you in the back roads
By the rivers of my memory
That keeps you ever gentle on my mind

Though the wheat fields and the clothes lines
And the junkyards and the highways come between us
And some other woman's cryin' to her mother
'cause she turned and I was gone
I still might run in silence
Tears of joy might stain my face
And the summer sun might burn me till I'm blind
But not to where I cannot see
You walkin' on the back roads
By the rivers flowin' gentle on my mind

I dip my cup of soup back from a gurglin' cracklin' cauldron
In some train yard
My beard a rustlin' coal pile
And a dirty hat pulled low across my face
Through cupped hands 'round a tin can
I pretend to hold you to my breast and find
That you're waitin' from the back roads
By the rivers of my memory
Ever smilin', ever gentle on my mind

Glen Campbell

Think Different

2009-06-09T19:15:00.002+08:00

Here's to the crazy ones.
The misfits.
The rebels.
The troublemakers.
The round pegs in the square holes.
The ones who see things differently.
They're not fond of rules.
And they have no respect for the status quo.
You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them.
About the only thing you can't do is ignore them.
Because they change things.
They push the human race forward.
And while some may see them as the crazy ones,
We see genius.
Because the people who are crazy enough to think
they can change the world,
Are the ones who do.

Think Different
Apple Commercial

Starred Trek

2009-06-09T14:28:00.003+08:00

History Lesson

2009-06-07T20:32:00.000+08:00

No One Knows

2009-06-07T15:37:00.003+08:00

She pins a poppy in her hair

That none may know her deep despair
She’ll dance till dawn on tingling toes
And no one knows
And no one knows

She jingles jewels just like a bell
To hide the grief she knows so well
Her worldly ways are just a pose
And no one knows
And no one knows

And no one knows
Why she goes for a walk in the rain
And no one cares
And no one shares
Her heart filled with pain

She dreams he’s holding her so tight
And reaches for him in the night
She greets a ghost each place she goes
And no one knows
And no one knows

Jerry Vale
(Jerry Vale Greatest Hits)

The Final Far Side

2009-06-06T14:07:00.007+08:00

Here are the cartoons taken from my final six months of newspaper syndication, plus 13 new cartoons I drew since I retired (more about that on page 81). Mingled with these are a few other cartoons that were never published in a Far Side book. (I know there are three guys out there who are tracking this stuff.)

But Last Chapter and Worse, I should hasten to add, is not necessarily my last "gasp" in the cartooning world. The Call of the Vial (of ink) still speaks to me, and the thought of creating more mischief -- somewhere, sometime -- still rumbles in the reptilian complex of my brain. (For you non-biology types, we've all got that -- it ain't just me.)

My profound thanks to all of you who have shared my sense of humor while forgiving my foibles. If I managed to give you a few laughs or smiles or gag reflexes along the way, you've given me a wonderful and completely unforeseen career.

I hope to see you again one day.

Gary Larson
Last Chapter and Worse
(A Far Side Collection)
.

Watching Werner

2009-06-06T12:45:00.006+08:00

Film is not analysis, it is the agitation of mind; cinema comes from the country fair and the circus, not from art and academicism.

You should look straight at a film; that's the only way to see one. Film is not the art of scholars but of illiterates.

Someone like Jean-Luc Godard is for me intellectual counterfeit money when compared to a good Kung Fu film.

Werner Herzog
Director

Corleone's Creed

2009-06-05T13:40:00.007+08:00

I spent my life trying not to be careless. Women and children can be careless but not men... I don't apologize for taking care of my family. And I refused to be a fool dancing on the strings held by all those big shots. That's my life, I don't apologize for that.

Don Vito Corleone
(Marlon Brando)

Weddings, Funerals, and True Love

2009-06-05T13:25:00.010+08:00

"Maybe
waiting
for
one true love
gets
in
the
way."

Hugh Grant

Four
Weddings
and
A
Funeral

Ascetic Wisdom

2009-06-05T12:38:00.010+08:00

The
contemplative life
must not be construed
as an escape
from social responsibility
and from the life of sense,
but rather,
as a confrontation
with poverty and the void,
a renunciation of the empirical self,
in the presence of death,
and nothingness,
in order to overcome
the ignorance and error
that spring from the
fear
of being nothing.

Thomas Merton
(1915-1968)

Grandpa Pablo

2009-06-05T12:11:00.007+08:00

Whether they were
women, friends, children,
or grandchildren,
his victims
had to be
sacrificed
to his art.
He was Picasso.
He was a genius.
A genius shows no mercy.
His glory depends on it.

Picasso: My Grandfather
by
Marina Picasso

Killed Bill

2009-06-05T01:43:00.004+08:00

David Carradine
(1936-2009)

Kwai Chang Caine aka Grasshopper
in
"Kung Fu"
(1972-1975)

Bill
in
"Kill Bill 1 & 2"
(2003-2004)

The Greatest Pretender

2008-12-23T11:05:00.003+08:00

To be a great champion you must believe you are the best.
If you're not, pretend you are.
Muhammad Ali
.

Perhaps Love

2008-12-21T17:18:00.007+08:00

Perhaps love
is like a resting place, a shelter from
the storm
It exists to give you comfort, it is there to keep you warm
And in those times of trouble when you are most alone
The memory of love will bring you home

Perhaps love is like a window, perhaps an open door
It invites you to come closer, it wants to show
you more
And even if you lose yourself and don't know what to do
The memory of love will see you through

Love to some is like a cloud, to some as strong as steel
For some a way of living, for some a way to feel
And some say love is holding on, some say letting go
Some say love is everything, some say they don't know

Perhaps love is like the ocean, full of conflict, full of pain
Like a fire when it's cold outside, or thunder when it rains
If I should live forever, and all my dreams come true
My memories of love will be of you

And some say love is holding on, some say letting go
Some say love is everything, and some say they don't know

Perhaps love is like the mountains,
full of conflict, full of change
Like a fire when it's cold outside, or thunder when it rains
If I should live forever, and all my dreams come true
My memories of love will be of you
.
John Denver (1943-1997)
.

Tower of Song

2008-12-01T14:45:00.008+08:00

Well my friends are gone and my hair is grey
I ache in the places where I used to play
And I'm crazy for love but I'm not coming on
I'm just paying my rent every day
Oh in the Tower of Song

I said to Hank Williams: how lonely does it get?
Hank Williams hasn't answered yet
But I hear him coughing all night long
A hundred floors above me
In the Tower of Song

I was born like this, I had no choice
I was born with the gift of a golden voice
And twenty-seven angels from the Great Beyond
They tied me to this table right here
In the Tower of Song

So you can stick your little pins in that voodoo doll
I'm very sorry, baby, doesn't look like me at all
I'm standing by the window where the light is strong
Ah they don't let a woman kill you
Not in the Tower of Song

Now you can say that I've grown bitter
but of this you may be sure
The rich have got their channels in the bedrooms of the poor
And there's a mighty judgement coming, but I may be wrong
You see, you hear these funny voices
In the Tower of Song

I see you standing on the other side
I don't know how the river got so wide
I loved you baby, way back when
And all the bridges are burning that we might have crossed
But I feel so close to everything that we lost
We'll never have to lose it again

Now I bid you farewell, I don't know when I'll be back
There moving us tomorrow to that tower down the track
But you'll be hearing from me baby, long after I'm gone
I'll be speaking to you sweetly
From a window in the Tower of Song

Yeah my friends are gone and my hair is grey
I ache in the places where I used to play
And I'm crazy for love but I'm not coming on
I'm just paying my rent every day
Oh in the Tower of Song
.
Leonard Cohen
.
(CLICK HERE TO WATCH VIDEO)

Critical Paranoia

2008-11-24T00:52:00.008+08:00

The
only

difference
between
a
madman
and
me
is
that
I
am
not
mad
.
Salavador Dali
(1904-1989)

Let's Dance

2008-11-19T09:50:00.007+08:00

"What if man gave up warfare and began dancing together?"

- Sam Keen -
Apology for Wonder
.

Bright Idea

2008-11-18T21:00:00.005+08:00

Everything
comes
to
him
who
hustles
while
he
waits.

Thomas
Edison

The King vs The Greatest

2008-11-18T20:52:00.003+08:00

Our greatest glory is not in never falling,
but in rising every time we fall.
- Confucius -
.

Blasphemous Rumors

2008-11-08T13:25:00.004+08:00

Girl of 16
Whole life ahead of her
Slashed her wrists
Bored with life
Didn't succeed
Thank the Lord
For small mercies

Fighting back the tears
Mother reads the note again
16 candles burn in her mind
She takes the blame
It's always the same
She goes down on her knees and prays

I don't want to start
Any blasphemous rumors
But I think that God's
Got a sick sense of humor
And when I die
I expect to find
Him laughing

Girl of 18
Fell in love with everything
Found new life
In Jesus Christ
Hit by a car
Ended up
On a life support machine

Summer's day
As she passed away
Birds were singing
In the summer sky
Then came the rain
And once again
A tear fell
From her mother's eye

I don't want to start
Any blasphemous rumors
But I think that God's
Got a sick sense of humor
And when I die
I expect to find
Him laughing
.
by
Depeche Mode
.

Fantastic 4

2008-10-28T12:28:00.004+08:00

4 Surprising Signs You'll Live A Long Time

We all know the obvious ways to add years to your life: Don't smoke, eat your veggies, wear a seat belt (even in the backseat). But there are other, lesser-known habits and attributes that can help you live to a ripe old age.

YOU SKIP SODA (EVEN DIET)

I finally kicked my diet cola habit in my 20s, a good thing too, because scientists in Boston recently found that drinking one or more regular or diet sodas every day doubles your risk of metabolic syndrome-- combination of conditions that increase your chances of heart disease and diabetes. The exact culprit isn't completely understood, but it could be the caramel color added to colas and other dark sodas, which increased the risk for metabolic syndrome in animals. Experts also speculate that exposing your taste buds to the sweet fizzy flavor of soda conditions you to crave sugary foods, which can lead to weight gain. Whatever the reason, it's an easy enough habit to quit. Club soda (sodium free, of course) with a splash of juice satisfies the fizz craving with just enough sweetness.

YOUR LEGS ARE STRONG

Lower-body strength means you also have good balance, flexibility, and endurance. While you probably care more about how your legs look in a mini and a pair of knee-high boots right now, as you get older those attributes reduce your risk of falls, injuries, and hip fractures, all of which are associated with declining health in older folks. So do some squats, lunges, and stair climbing to look good now-- and be strong and healthy later. It's win-win!

YOUR MOM HAD YOU YOUNG

If she was under age 25, you're twice as likely to live to age 100 as someone born to an older mom, according to University of Chicago scientists. The reason, they suspect, is that younger moms' best eggs go first to fertilization, which may mean healthier offspring.

YOU EAT AND DRINK PURPLE THINGS

Red wine, concord grapes, blueberries (okay, not quite purple, but close enough) all get that deep rich color from polyphenols- compounds that reduce heart disease risk and may even protect against Alzheimer's disease, according to new research. So crack open a bottle of Pinot (don't overdo it), snack on some grapes, or make a blueberry pie and ponder all the years that lie ahead. Talk about happy and healthy!

by Liz Vaccariello, Editor-in-Chief, PREVENTION
.

Wax On, Wax Off

2008-10-23T21:38:00.008+08:00

.
"Never put passion before principle.
Even if you win,
you lose."

Miyagi
Karate Kid
Part 2

For
Noriyuki
"Pat"
Morita
(1932-2005)

Nardong Tae

2008-10-23T11:49:00.002+08:00

NARDONG TAE, subtitled "Umotot Ka Hanggang Gusto Mo", is an independent comic book produced in 2003 by Abang Guard Productions. This indie komiks is created by Louie Cordero, a multi-awarded painter, illustrator, and musician. Nardong Tae was named "Best Indie Comic Book" at the 2nd Philippine Comic Book, Anime, and Gaming Convention held on December 13-14, 2003 at SM Megamall's Megatrade Hall 2.

Nardong Tae tells the hilarious, wacky adventures of Bornek, the kindly boy who was hit by an alien poo from outer space. Bornek was transformed into a living poo, his ghastly look and stench became the butt of jokes. Despite this, Bornek tried to live a normal life, even going to a university in Manila to study criminology. In the end, however, when he can no longer tolerate the humiliation of his classmates and teachers, Bornek destroyed the university by the explosive power of his fart. He was declared "Public Enemy No.1″. The komiks ended with a note that a Part Two is being prepared by the Author.
.
Thanks to: Danny Gagelonia
.

Hell: Exothermic or Endothermic?

2008-10-23T00:01:00.009+08:00

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid term paper.

The answer by one student was so 'profound' that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well:

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.

Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by a certain girl during my Freshman year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take into account the fact that I slept with the very same girl last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct... leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, she kept shouting 'Oh my God.'

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+.
.

Happily Ever Before

2008-10-20T14:49:00.002+08:00

8 Things No One Tells You About Marriage:

1) You will look at the person lying next to you and wonder, Is this it? Forever?

2) You'll work harder than you ever imagined.

3) You will sometimes go to bed mad (and maybe even wake up madder).

4) You will go without sex - sometimes for a long time.

5) Getting your way is usually not as important as finding a way to work together.

6) A great marriage doesn't mean no conflict; it simply means a couple keeps trying to get it right.

7) You'll realize that you can only change yourself.

8) As you face your fears and insecurities, you will find out what you're really made of.
.

Why Men Cheat

2008-10-20T14:14:00.006+08:00

Counselor M. Gary Neuman surveyed 200 cheating and non-cheating husbands to get at the real reasons behind men's infidelity.

48% rated emotional dissatisfaction as the primary reason they cheated.

8% said that physical dissatisfaction was the main factor in their infidelity.

66% report feeling guilt during the affair.

68% of cheaters never dreamed they'd be unfaithful.

77% of cheating men have a good friend who cheated.

40% met the other woman at work.

12% said their mistress was more physically attractive than their wife.

6% of cheating men had physical intimacy with a woman after meeting her that same day or night.

73% of men got to know the other woman for more than a month before they cheated.

Source: Nicole Yorio / Redbook
.

Paul Newman (1925-2008)

2008-10-17T23:47:00.002+08:00

Bad is Good

2008-10-17T13:44:00.013+08:00

Top Ten Bad Things That Are Good For You

10. Beer - Antioxidant rich. New research has suggested that moderate beer intake can actually improve cardiovascular function.

9. Anger - Studies show that bursts of anger here and there are good for the health, and can be an even more effective coping mechanism than becoming afraid, irritated, or disgusted.

8. Coffee - A major source of antioxidants and can help lower risk of diabetes. Also thought to ease the onset of cirrhosis of the liver and pancreatitis.

7. LSD - Small doses have been thought to help bypass the rock-bottom stage of alcoholism and prevent lapses.

6. Sunlight - Asthmatics could benefit from measured doses of ultraviolet rays.

5. Maggots - Placed on serious wounds, maggots munch on bacteria and dead tissue, stimulating healing and helping to prevent infection.

4. Marijuana - Anti-inflammatories found in the drug prevent the clumping of brain proteins, one major cause of Alzheimer's.

3. Red Wine - Known to have potent anti-cancer and artery-protecting benefits. Latest studies link it to greater endurance, a reduction in gum disease and Alzheimer's.

2. Chocolate - Packed with flavonols that prevent certain cancers and keep your arteries from clogging. May even increase blood flow to the brain, warding off dementia. Just stick to the highest cocoa content possible, the bars packed with sugar don't help your health one bit.

1. Sex - Reduces stress, lowers cholesterol, and improves circulation throughout the body.
.
Source: www.livescience.com
.

Rogue Messiahs

2008-10-17T09:34:00.012+08:00

What's it about: The stories and outrageous claims, acts, and abuses of 25 self-proclaimed messiahs who have arisen in the last 300 years. The probable factors that turn earnest religious leaders, mystics, or well-intentioned cult leaders into violent, abusive, murderous, and
paranoid rogue messiahs.

Chapters:

1- Sex as Salvation. (The final assault on Waco. The mass suicide of the Branch Davidians. Why do normal people join such cults?...)

2- The Millenium Cometh. (Sabbatai Zevi, the Messiah of 1666, mystic and kabbalist. The Jewish expectation of the Messiah. The Brethren of the Free Spirit...)

3- The Psychology of Discipleship. (Jim Jones and group marriage. Colonel Olcott and thaumaturgy. William James on "the will to believe." The career of Madame Blavatsky. The Tibetan Mahatmas...)

4- The Messiah as Killer. (Auguste Comte tries to overthrow religion. The case of Jeffrey Lundgren. Joseph Smith and the Mormons...)

5- A Taste of Power. (Arturo LeBaron becomes Prophet...)

6- How to Transform Reality. (Milton Rokeach and the Three Christs of Ypsilanti. Lindner's "participation therapy." Madame Yeti...)

7- The Psychiatrist as Messiah. (Freud versus Jung. "Man has a religious function." The craving for an authority figure...)

8- Strange Powers. (Rudolf Steiner and the incredible rise of Anthroposophy. The rise of Krishnamutri. Edward Irving and "speaking in tongues."... )

9- The Gospel of Free Love. (Lucina Umphreville and spiritual marriage. William Miller and the Day of Judgement that failed to arrive...)

10- The Sexual Watershed. (Henry James Prince and the Abode of Love...)

11- The Mask of Power. (Aleister Crowley and Shelley. Manson among the Flower Children. Yukio Mishima as messiah...)

12- The Second Stream. (Charlotte Bach's theory of sex: all men wish to become women and vice versa. Evolution as the result of sexual tension. David Berg and the Children of God...)

Poor Country

2008-04-21T00:58:00.003+08:00

Why Is The Philippines Poor?
by Dr. Arsenio Martin of Fort Arthur, Texas.

THE DIFFERENCE

The difference between the poor countries and the rich ones is not the age of the country.

This can be shown by countries like India & Egypt, that are more than 2000 years old, but are poor.

On the other hand, Canada, Australia & New Zealand, that 150 years ago were inexpressive, today are developed countries, and are rich.

The difference between poor & rich countries does not reside in the available natural resources.

Japan has a limited territory, 80% mountainous, inadequate for agriculture & cattle raising, but it is the second world economy. The country is like an immense floating factory, importing raw materials from the whole world and exporting manufactured products.

Another example is Switzerland, which does not plant cocoa but has the best chocolate in the world. In its little territory they raise animals and plant the soil during 4 months per year. Not enough, they produce dairy products of the best quality! It is a small country that transmits an image of security, order & labor, which made it the world's strongest, safest place.

Executives from rich countries who communicate with their counterparts in poor countries show that there is no significant intellectual difference.

Race or skin color are also not important: immigrants labeled lazy in their countries of origin are the productive power in rich European countries.

What is the difference then? The difference is the attitude of the people, framed along the years by the education & the culture & flawed tradition.

On analyzing the behavior of the people in rich & developed countries, we find that the great majority follow the following principles in their lives:

1. Ethics, as a basic principle.
2. Integrity.
3. Responsibility.
4. Respect to the laws & rules.
5. Respect to the rights of other citizens.
6. Work loving.
7. Strive for savings & investment.
8. Will of super action.
9. Punctuality.
10. and of course... Discipline

In poor countries, only a minority follow these basic principles in their daily life.

The Philippines is not poor because we lack natural resources or because nature was cruel to us. In fact, we are supposedly rich in natural resources.

We are poor because we lack the correct attitude. We lack the will to comply with and teach these functional principles of rich & developed societies.

If you do not forward this message nothing will happen to you. Your pet will not die, you will not be fired, you will not have bad luck for seven years, and also, you will not get sick or go hungry.

But those may happen because of your lack of discipline & laziness, your love for intrigue and politics, your indifference to saving for the future, your stubborn attitude.

If you love your country, let this message circulate so that many Filipinos could reflect about this, & CHANGE, ACT!
.

Earth Hour 2008

2008-03-29T03:21:00.002+08:00

This Saturday, March 29, 2008, from 8pm to 9pm,

TURN OFF THE LIGHTS.

This WWF (World Wildlife Fund) global event addresses global warming and climate change through direct action and awareness build-up.

We need to start acting now or else there'll be nothing to act on in 20 years - no earth.

Let this black-out make us see in a different light.
.

Max Fischer's Song

2008-03-07T15:47:00.007+08:00

Poor old Granddad I laughed at all his words

I thought he was a bitter man

He spoke of women's ways

They trap you, then they use you

Before you even know

For love is blind and you're far too kind

Don't ever let it show
.

I wish that I knew what I know now

When I was younger

I wish that I knew what I know now

When I was stronger
.

The Can Can's such a pretty show

They'll steal your heart away

But backstage, back on earth again

The dressing rooms are grey

They come on strong and it ain't too long

Before they make you feel a man

But love is blind and you soon will find

You're just a boy again

When you want her lips, you get a cheek

Makes you wonder where you are

If you want some more and she's fast asleep

Then she's twinkling with the stars

Poor young grandson, there's nothing I can say

You'll have to learn, just like me

And that's the hardest way

Ooh la la

Ooh la la la yeah

I wish that I knew what I know now
When I was younger

I wish that I knew what I know now

When I was stronger

Ooh La La by The Faces

The Genius' Audience

2008-03-06T00:44:00.005+08:00

To allow his genius to become apparent to himself it was necessary that he should dare to give up aiming to please. Cut off from everyone by deafness he discovered the vulnerability of the spectator, he realized that the painter has only to struggle with himself and he will become, sooner or later, the conqueror of all.
.
Andre Malraux
on
Goya

Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

2008-02-29T01:29:00.007+08:00

Plato: For the greater good.
.
Karl Marx: It was a historical inevitability.
.
Machiavelli: So that its subjects will view it with admiration, as a chicken which has the daring and courage to boldly cross the road, but also with fear, for whom among them has the strength to contend with such a paragon of avian virtue? In such a manner is the princely chicken's dominion maintained.
.
Hippocrates: Because of an excess of light pink gooey stuff in its pancreas.
.
Jacques Derrida: Any number of contending discourses may be discovered within the act of the chicken crossing the road, and each interpretation is equally valid as the authorial intent can never be discerned, because structuralism is DEAD, DAMMIT, DEAD!
.
Thomas de Torquemada: Give me ten minutes with the chicken and I'll find out.
.
Timothy Leary: Because that's the only kind of trip the Establishment would let it take.
.
Douglas Adams: Forty-two.
.
Nietzsche: Because if you gaze too long across the Road, the Road gazes also across you.
.
Oliver North: National Security was at stake.
.
B.F. Skinner: Because the external influences which had pervaded its sensorium from birth had caused it to develop in such a fashion that it would tend to cross roads, even while believing these actions to be of its own free will.
.
Carl Jung: The confluence of events in the cultural gestalt necessitated that individual chickens cross roads at this historical juncture, and therefore synchronicitously brought such occurrences into being.
.
Jean-Paul Sartre: In order to act in good faith and be true to itself, the chicken found it necessary to cross the road.
.
Ludwig Wittgenstein: The possibility of "crossing" was encoded into the objects "chicken" and "road", and circumstances came into being which caused the actualization of this potential occurrence.
.
Albert Einstein: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road crossed the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.
.
Aristotle: To actualize its potential.
.
Buddha: If you ask this question, you deny your own chicken- nature.
.
Howard Cosell: It may very well have been one of the most astonishing events to grace the annals of history. An historic, unprecedented avian biped with the temerity to attempt such an herculean achievement formerly relegated to homo sapien pedestrians is truly a remarkable occurence.
.
Salvador Dali: The Fish.
.
Darwin: It was the logical next step after coming down from the trees.
.
Emily Dickinson: Because it could not stop for death.
.
Epicurus: For fun.
.
Ralph Waldo Emerson: It didn't cross the road; it transcended it.
.
Johann von Goethe: The eternal hen-principle made it do it.
.
Ernest Hemingway: To die. In the rain.
.
Werner Heisenberg: We are not sure which side of the road the chicken was on, but it was moving very fast.
.
David Hume: Out of custom and habit.
.
Jack Nicholson: 'Cause it (censored) wanted to. That's the (censored) reason.
.
Pyrrho the Skeptic: What road?
.
Ronald Reagan: I forget.
.
John Sununu: The Air Force was only too happy to provide the transportation, so quite understandably the chicken availed himself of the opportunity.
.
Bill Clinton: I did not have sex with that chicken.
.
The Sphinx: You tell me.
.
Mr. T: If you saw me coming you'd cross the road too!
.
Henry David Thoreau: To live deliberately ... and suck all the marrow out of life.
.
Mark Twain: The news of its crossing has been greatly exaggerated.
.
Molly Yard: It was a hen!
.
Zeno of Elea: To prove it could never reach the other side.
.
Chaucer: So priketh hem nature in hir corages.
.
Wordsworth: To wander lonely as a cloud.
.
The Godfather: I didn't want its mother to see it like that.
.
Keats: Philosophy will clip a chicken's wings.
.
Blake: To see heaven in a wild fowl.
.
Othello: Jealousy.
.
Dr Johnson: Sir, had you known the Chicken for as long as I have, you would not so readily enquire, but feel rather the Need to resist such a public Display of your own lamentable and incorrigible Ignorance.
.
Mrs Thatcher: This chicken's not for turning.
.
Supreme Soviet: There has never been a chicken in this photograph.
.
Oscar Wilde: Why, indeed? One's social engagements whilst in town ought never expose one to such barbarous inconvenience - although, perhaps, if one must cross a road, one may do far worse than to cross it as the chicken in question.
.
Kafka: Hardly the most urgent enquiry to make of a low-grade insurance clerk who woke up that morning as a hen.
.
Swift: It is, of course, inevitable that such a loathsome, filth-ridden and degraded creature as Man should assume to question the actions of one in all respects his superior.
.
Macbeth: To have turned back were as tedious as to go o'er.
.
Whitehead: Clearly, having fallen victim to the fallacy of misplaced concreteness.
.
Freud: An die andere Seite zu kommen.
.
Hamlet: That is not the question.
.
Donne: It crosseth for thee.
.
Pope: It was mimicking my Lord Hervey.
.
Constable: To get a better view.
.
James T. Kirk: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
.
Marty McFly: Nobody calls me chicken!
.
The Terminator: It'll be back.
.
Gandhi: It's the way of passive resistance.
.

Pedagogy of the Oppressed

2008-02-23T14:17:00.007+08:00

I realize that those who don't eat, who don't laugh, who don't sing, who don't love, who live oppressed, crushed and despised, who are less each day, are suffering all this because of some reality that is causing it... I join in the action historically by genuinely loving, by having the courage to commit myself (which is no easy thing!) or I end up not doing what I know I should.

Paulo Freire

(1921-1997)

Goodbye to Romance

2008-02-23T01:14:00.007+08:00

Yesterday

has been and gone

Tomorrow

will I find the sun

or will it rain

Everybody's having fun

except me

I'm the lonely one

I live in shame

I said goodbye to romance

Goodbye to friends...

I tell you

Goodbye to all the past

I guess that we'll meet, we'll meet in the end

I've been the king,

I've been the clown

No broken wings

can't hold me down

I'm free again

The jester with a broken crown

It won't be me this time around to love in vain

I said goodbye to romance

Goodbye to friends... I tell you

Goodbye to all the past

I guess that we'll meet, we'll meet in the end

Ozzy Osbourne

The Good and The Great

2008-02-22T08:11:00.010+08:00

The difference

between

a fair musician

and

a good musician

is that a good musician

can play

anything

he thinks.

The difference

between

a good musician

and

a great musician

what he thinks.

.
Miles Davis

That's Write

2008-02-22T00:17:00.004+08:00

A winning writer's winning attitude is Write on!
.
He should... do essentially three things: write, write, and write.
.
He should be grateful for the privilege of being mistreated in this business. Far worse than mistreatment is no treatment at all -- that is to say, the gnawing, hollow horror of being left quite completely undisturbed.
.
Frankly, writers should be grateful for the opportunity to suffer, because suffering is at the heart of creative expression's nature on every level and in every medium and format. Writers should be grateful that they have found the courage to reach and stretch and attempt something different, something new. They should be pleased that they're actually doing what so many others merely talk about: writing.
.
Another thing to keep in mind is that writers should never seek sweet, serene satisfaction...
.
Sreenwriters, painters, and all purveyors of creative expression are well advised to quit seeking satisfaction. If they hope to maintain even a semblance of sanity, they need to learn how to live with dissonance, discord and a generally unsettled opinion of themselves and their work...
.
All who struggle to be creative, in the most important sense, cannot fail, because it is creativity above all other traits that renders us human.
.
Fall on your face if you must, but rejoice that it is your own face and nobody else's upon which you fall. And be grateful that you have the energy and spirit to soar high enough to crash once again most gloriously.
.
The Whole Picture: Strategies For Screenwriting Success in the New Hollywood (1997)
by
Richard Walter
.

Viva Comandante

2008-02-20T00:59:00.002+08:00

“Condemn me, it does not matter, history will absolve me.”

Fidel Castro

Pacman Woes

2008-02-12T13:14:00.001+08:00

And then disaster struck. Men with suits came along and told everyone to grow up. And just like that, the dream was over. Our industry has switched leaders, from a man with a cape and crown to men with shiny shoes who "do lunch".
.
.
.
From: Five That Fell
By: Eric Jon Rossel Waugh
.
Article on the rise and fall of five of the most influential videogame developer studios.
.

Through Deichmann's Eyes

2008-02-07T01:12:00.000+08:00

I often get asked

how I have adopted to the digital age...

My answer is quite simple;

I shoot the same way I always have...

It is not the equipment, but your eyes, feelings, and mind

that creates the ultimate image.

Gunther Deichmann

Picasso's War

2008-02-06T01:54:00.000+08:00

It is
extraordinary,

this

sterile sadness

which

weighs down

the entire

work

this

man.

He seems

god

trying

to remake

the

world.

But

dark god.

Charles Morice

Pablo Picasso

Life Thru Lomography

2008-02-01T01:43:00.000+08:00

The Ten Golden Rules of Lomography

1. Take your camera everywhere you go

In bed, in Gorki park, in a propeller driven airplane or in the launderette: You grab your camera and everything around you starts to vibrate with life, be prepared, keep your camera close at hand and ready for action everywhere and all the time.

2. Use it anytime: Day or Night

Every single second has its own unique, light, grey, colourful, woolly, profound, or flat mood. Your life is not going to wait for your camera, its rules and the floating around involved in it. Either – click – and you have captured the situation as it is, or you haven’t.

3. Lomography is not interference in your life but part of it

Lomography doesn’t interrupt the direction in which your life is going; rather it’s a significant and integral part of it. Just like talking, walking, sleeping, eating, thinking, drinking, laughing and loving, Lomography is a colourful sign that you are alive.

4. Shoot from the hip

It is as simple as it is unusual: You don’t have to look through the viewfinder to take a good picture, no, on the contrary! Give yourself more freedom in your choice of perspectives. Hang it up in the air, out in front or behind your back. No limits – just your experience mixed with some luck.

5. Approach the object of your Lomographic desire as close as possible

Get close – click – from the wrist looking deep into the eyes, full frontal, close up and precisely what ever it is that interests you. Laughing as you go, feeling good so that everyone can see that Lomography is the most obvious and natural thing in the world.

6. Don’t Think

Put your head in the ice cold bathtub, hold your breath, count to 100 and let your troubles dissolve. Then jerk your head out again and with it firmly on your shoulders, grab your camera and hit the streets. Start snapping away, live it and have fun.

7. Be Fast
.

A mere tenth of a second makes the difference between Lomography and not Lomography. Don’t waste time with (Just don’t wait any time) settings or adjustments, thinking about it, faffing around and procrastinating. First impressions have a quality of their own, trust yourself.

8. You don’t have to know beforehand what is captured on the film

Give the randomness of Lomography a chance. Enjoy your new way of living with random occurrence. You’re not here for Lomography! Lomography is here for you! Lomography only works if the only thing you concentrate on is celebrating your life.

9. Afterwards neither

Wow, that looks great, what is that, where was I there? Your brain is running at top speed, your memory is spinning, your history is tumbling. No, you don’t even have to know afterwards exactly what’s on the film. Just read between the Lomographs.

10. Don’t worry about the rules

The Voice

2008-01-31T04:34:00.000+08:00

Some singers sound like angels in the recording studio and totally bomb when they have to appear live. Others are unimpressive on record, but are so charismatic on stage that the sheer strength of their personalities overcomes their musical shortcomings. And then there is Jerry Vale.

.
Duncan Allardyce
Jerry Vale: 17 Most Requested Songs
.

Cinemalaya 2008 Finals

2008-01-16T02:37:00.000+08:00

Sorry

I
didn't

make

it.

That's

all

folks.

Jeepers

2008-01-16T02:24:00.000+08:00

More jeepney proverbs:

Mestiza Motors

Alak Singko Na

Batang Paris Vol. 1

Batangas Hulk

Eh Anu Kung Tamad, Di Naman Pagod

Jeepney Proverbs

2007-11-11T15:53:00.000+08:00

The jeepney is a fun thing to ride... and read. I've noted some of the funny and weird things I've read at the back of jeepneys:
.

Toy for the Bad Boy
Charlie's Angels: Ako'y Matanda Na
US Navy ng Japan
Thanks God
Katas ng Saudi
Shit Ka Sa Earth
Always Guapo
Banana Express Part 2
Gapangero
Kokorokokok
Palagi Nalang Ako
Back Off!
Laseng Ka Na
3 Years Old Gold Medalist
We Hate the Waves but We Love the Sea
If You See a Rat Climbing a Tree Just Pull the Tail and Remember Me
.

50 Greatest Pinoy Music Videos

2007-10-29T21:38:00.000+08:00

Yehey! The music video I directed for Juan Pablo Dream ("Nice Place") has been chosen as one of the 50 Greatest Pinoy Music Videos by FHM Philippines!

The Greatest Actor

2007-10-27T15:45:00.000+08:00

Acting... has stood by me and I have stood by it. It has given me much joy and some sorrow... It has given me the world and great happiness... It has clothed me, watered me, and spared me from a bowler hat and a nine-till-five desk. It has given me cars and houses and holidays. It has introduced me to kings and queens, presidents and princes... Whatever your background, if acting decides to embrace you and take you to its heart, it will hurl you up there among the gods. It will change your wooden clogs overnight and replace them with glass slippers.

Sir Laurence Olivier

(1907-1989)

Presidential Finger

2007-10-21T23:13:00.000+08:00

When society does not solve their problems, individuals are left trying to solve the problem... on an individual level. No matter what the individual does, it will not give the individual a clear answer because it must be solved on the social level.
.
Linda Seger

Cinemalaya 2008

2007-10-14T00:32:00.000+08:00

25 SEMI-FINALISTS FOR FULL LENGTH CATEGORY
.
Title and Filmmaker:
.
100 by Chris Martinez
Abalorio by Norman S. Regalado
Ang Tagabasa by Dale Custodio
Antiparang Basag by Edith Asuncion
Asan na nga ba si Tupe? by Carlo F. C. Castro
Baby Angelo by Joel Ruiz & Abi Aquino
Bakal Boys by Ralston Jover
Bantay by Marinette Lusanta
Biyaheng Norte by Bong Ramos
Brutus by Tara Illenberger
Frames by Enrico Aragon
Huling Pasada by Paul Sta. Ana
Jay by Francis Xavier E. Pasion
KAHOS: The Purge by Boyette Rimban
Konsyerto sa Kagubatan by Paul Y. Morales
Kristo by Jerwin D. Espiritu
My Fake American Accent by Onnah Valera
Namets (Yummy) by Jay Abello
Ranchero by Michael Christian Cardoz
Sa Ilalim Ng Aratiles by Pam Miras
The Gift of a Smile by Emmanuel dela Cruz
The Thank-You Girls by Charliebebs Gohetia
Tinig Sa Dilim by Ellen Ongkeko-Marfil & Froi Medina
Tres Marias (1) by Liza Cornejo
UPCAT by Roman Carlo Olivarez
.

Farewell My Daughters

2007-09-25T01:04:00.000+08:00

Let the words of another say what I want to express:
.
Everybody's Free
(to wear sunscreen)
.
Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of '97... wear sunscreen.
.
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be IT.
.
The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience.
.
I will dispense this advice now.
.
Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded. But trust me, in 20 years you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked.
.
You are NOT as fat as you imagine.
.
Don't worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.
.
Do one thing every day that scares you.
.
Sing.
.
Don't be reckless with other people's hearts, don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.
.
Floss.
.
Don't waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long, and in the end, it's only with yourself.
.
Remember compliments you receive, forget the insults; if you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

.
Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements.
.
Stretch.
.
Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don't.
.
Get plenty of calcium.
.
Be kind to your knees, you'll miss them when they're gone.
.
Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't, maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't, maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself, either. Your choices are half chance, so are everybody else's. Enjoy your body, use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it, or what other people think of it, it's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.
.
Dance. Even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room.
.
Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.
.
Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly.
.
Get to know your parents, you never know when they'll be gone for good.
.
Be nice to your siblings; they are your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.
.
Understand that friends come and go, but for the precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography in lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young.
.
Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard; live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.
.
Travel.
.
Accept certain inalienable truths, prices will rise, politicians will philander, you too will get old, and when you do you'll fantasize that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.
.
Respect your elders.
.
Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund, maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one might run out.
.
Don't mess too much with your hair, or by the time you're 40, it will look 85.
.
Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.
.
But trust me on the sunscreen.
.
Mary Schmich
Chicago Tribune
.

Finally Final Tumblebugs

2007-09-25T00:45:00.000+08:00

I thought there was none but there was more:

1. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.

2. Some days you are the bug, some days you are the windshield.

3. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

4. Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.

5. Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense.

6. Quando omni flunkus moritati - when all else fails, play dead.

7. For every action there is an equal and opposite criticism.

8. All generalizations are dangerous, even this one.

9. If at first you don't succeed, give up, no use looking like a fool.

10. Never ever make absolute unconditional statements.

11. Failure is not falling down, it is not getting up again.

12. If at first you don't succeed, look in the trash for the instructions.

Unholy Books

2007-09-21T22:55:00.000+08:00

Works that will never get published due to religious controversy:

1. The God-idea and Christian Utopic Delusions

2. Knowing God's Will: Evangelical Dementia

3. Ye of Little Faith: A Survey of Christian Low Self-Esteem Since 33A.D.

4. As the Spirit Leads: How to Manipulate Others in God's Name

5. The Invisible God: Where is He When You Need Him?

6. How to Misread the Bible Without Even Trying

7. Common Ignorance: The Bible and Its Readers

8. Single By Salary: Why Ministers Should Not Fall in Love

9. Goddess Worship: Evangelical Alternative to Mariology (Why Have One When You Can Have Them All?)

10. Elvis in Heaven: Salvation Through the King

11. God Spoke to Me: Who Needs the Bible Anyway?

12. God Spoke to Me (Part 2): Persuading Someone to Marry You

13. Chrisitian Celebrities: We Are More Popular Than Jesus

14. Bless Me: Holy Materialism in Today's Church

15. How to Lose Your Salvation in Three Easy Ways

16. God Gave Me Two Cars and A Rolex and Other Common Mega Church Testimonies

17. Go To Hell: Straightforward Evangelism Methods

18. The Devil Made Me Do It: How To Defend Yourself On Judgement Day

19. Jesus the Wine-Maker: Study of the Cana Wedding Drinking Spree Incident (John 2)

20. Jesus Ain't Coming Back (Advanced Sunday School Lessons)

Ninja Party

2007-09-14T16:52:00.000+08:00

The following can be found in The Official Ninja Website:
.
Facts:
.
1. Ninjas are mammals.
2. Ninjas fight ALL the time.
3. The purpose of the ninja is to flip out and kill people.
.
.
Testimonial:
.
Ninjas can kill anyone they want! Ninjas cut off heads ALL the time and don't even think twice about it. These guys are so crazy and awesome that they flip out ALL the time. I heard that there was this ninja who was eating at a diner. And when some dude dropped a spoon the ninja killed the whole town. My friend Mark said that he saw a ninja totally uppercut some kid just because the kid opened a window.
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And that's what I call REAL Ultimate Power!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
.
If you don't believe that ninjas have REAL Ultimate Power you better get a life right now or they will chop your head off!!! It's an easy choice, if you ask me.
.
Ninjas are sooooooooooo sweet that I want to crap my pants. I can't believe it sometimes, but I feel it inside my heart. These guys are totally awesome and that's a fact. Ninjas are fast, smooth, cool, strong, powerful, and sweet. I can't wait to start yoga next year. I love ninjas with all of my body (including my pee pee).
.
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Q and A:
.
Q: Why is everyone so obsessed about ninjas?
A: Ninjas are the ultimate paradox. On the one hand they don't give a crap, but on the other hand, ninjas are very careful and precise.
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Q: I heard that ninjas are always cruel or mean. What's their problem?
A: Whoever told you that is a total liar. Just like other mammals, ninjas can be mean OR totally awesome.
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Q: What do ninjas do when they're not cutting off heads or flipping out?
A: Most of their free time is spent flying, but sometime they stab. (Ask Mark if you don't believe me.)
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If you're a ninja fanatic or you have nothing else to do, just click the link (The Official Ninja Website) under MeLAUGHs.
.

More Tumblebugs

2007-09-13T22:35:00.000+08:00

Here's part 2 of the Tumblebugs Philosophy (I didn't know there were more):
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1. A 3-year old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
2. It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without you help.
3. Sometimes speed is the way to win (especially later on).
4. Anybody can win, unless there happens to be a second entry.
5. Everything takes longer than you think it will.
6. If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.
7. A likely impossibility is always preferable to an unconvincing possibility.
8. Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.
9. The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.
10. You can only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.
11. A midget fortune-teller who escapes from prison is a small medium at large.
12. Never use a long word when a diminutive one will do.
13. Politicians and diapers should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.
14. Eagles may soar but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
15. How long a minute is depends on which side of the bathroom door you're on.
.

Wittgenstein's Surprise

2007-09-09T13:41:00.000+08:00

When I came home
I expected a surprise
and there was no surprise for me,

so,

of course,

I was surprised.

Ludwig Wittgenstein

(1889-1951)

I Was Only Joking

2007-09-06T23:01:00.002+08:00

Ever since I was a kid at school
I messed around with all the rules

Apologized then realized

I'm not different after all
.

Me and the boys thought we had it sussed

Valentinos all of us

My dad said we looked ridiculous

But boy we broke some hearts
.

In and out of jobs, running free

Waging war with society

Dumb blank faces stare back at me

But nothing ever changed

Promises made in the heat of the night

Creeping home before it got to light

I wasted all that precious time

and blamed it on the wine

I was only joking my dear

Looking for a way to hide my fear

What kind of fool was I

I could never win

Never found a compromise

Collected lovers like butterflies

Illusions of that grand first prize

are slowly wearing thin
.

Suzie baby you were good to me

Giving love unselfishly

But you took it all too seriously

I guess it had to end

Now you ask me if I'm sincere

That's the question that I always fear

Verse seven is never clear

But I'll tell you what you want to hear
.

I try to give you all you want

But giving love is not my strongest point

If that's the case it's pointless going on

I'd rather be alone
.

'Cause what I'm doing must be wrong

Pouring my heart out in a song

Owning up for prosperity

For the whole damn world to see

Quietly now while I turn a page

Act one is over without costume change

The principal would like to leave the stage

The crowd don't understand

Rod Stewart

Tumblebugs Philosophy

2007-09-06T13:55:00.000+08:00

There's this computer game called Tumblebugs wherein you rescue bugs from slavery. It's a very cute and colorful game. After each stage, a "tip" box appears. But instead of showing tips about the game, it features sayings which are, let's call it, twisted (but funny and true at the same time). Let's get it on!

1. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

2. Never mess up an apology with an excuse.

3. Don't worry about what people think. They don't do it very often.

4. You are being watched. Cut out the hanky-panky for a few days.

5. A photographic memory is no use if it's never developed.

6. Confidence is the feeling you have before you understand the situation.

7. Never trust a dog to watch your food.

8. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

9. Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and it bothers the pig.

10. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.

11. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.

12. Money will not buy happiness, but it will let you be unhappy in nice places.

13. Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.

14. Genetics explain why you look like your father and if you don't, why you should.

15. Ambition is a poor excuse for not having the good sense to be lazy.

16. Everything your mother ever warned you about is true.

17. A closed mouth gathers no foot.

18. If it jams, force it. If it breaks, it needed replacement anyway.

19. If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

20. If you look like your passport photo, you're not well enough to travel.

21. No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes.

22. Sometimes thought and planning are the way to go (especially early on).

23. A shortcut is the longest path between two points.

24. A bit of hardwork never killed anyone - but why risk it?

25. The glass is either half full, half empty, or twice as big as it needs to be.

26. Diplomacy is the art of saying "good doggie" while looking for a bigger stick.

27. If you want your spouse to pay attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.

Talkin' To Me?

2007-09-04T00:59:00.000+08:00

I am God's lonely man.
.
Travis Bickle
Taxi Driver

Billion Dollar Ballpen

2007-08-29T23:37:00.000+08:00

Heard this on the radio. Whether it's a joke or not, it's really funny.

Back in the Cold War era, when the American astronauts went to space, they discovered that they cannot use ballpens in zero gravity. So the American government funded a research to remedy the problem. Billions of dollars later, NASA finally came up with a ballpen that works in zero gravity, in extreme heat and cold, and even under water.

The Russians came up with a simpler solution. They used pencil.
.

Viva Che

2007-08-21T14:29:00.000+08:00

Many will call me an adventurer -- and that I am, only one of a different sort: one of those who risks his skin to prove his platitudes.

Che Guevara
(1928-1967)

Ingmar Bergman (1918-2007)

2007-08-20T23:38:00.002+08:00

Red Button

2007-08-20T22:28:00.001+08:00

MeRoadTrip 1: Vigan

2007-08-20T19:48:00.000+08:00

May 2007. Went to Vigan. 3 of us. Forgot the details. Let's make it simple.

Day 1: Drive. Car stereo: Yoyoy Villame and Fred Panopio. Manila to Pampanga. Late night. Sisig dinner at most popular sisigan where it was said to be invented. Forgot the name. Something something. Drive...

Day 2: Early morning. Going to Pangasinan. I drive, they sleep. Friends wake up: let's go to Baguio. Right turn. American breakfast at Camp John Hay, Baguio. Temperature: ok. Now, to Vigan. Vegetarian lunch in Pangasinan. Temperature: sizzling. Now, to Vigan. I sleep, they drive. Car stereo: Depeche Mode. Late afternoon. Traffic in Vigan. Fiesta something something. Check-in hotel. Move around. Tasted the popular empanada. Pictures, pictures, pictures. Chicken dinner. Vigan night life. Two new female friends from Manila. College students. Friend scares them off after one beer. Oh well, zzzzz...

Day 3: Good morning, Vigan. Bought tobacco, bagnet, and green grapes. Drive. Further north. Target: Pagudpod. Still driving. Map check: too far. Reality check: too far. U-turn. Seafood lunch and beach and Korean girls in La Union. Swim, swim, swim. Pictures, pictures, pictures. Rains. Drive. Cholesterol dinner in Pangasinan. Drive. Car stereo: Depeche Mode (again!). Manila. Late night burgers with drag queens walking around. It's good to be back.

Day 4: Zzzzz...

Bad Girl

2007-08-20T01:16:00.000+08:00

Nuclear Tomato

2007-08-20T00:58:00.000+08:00

Make A GLOWING TOMATO ! - video powered by Metacafe

Jedi 101

2007-08-19T02:51:00.000+08:00

Embarassing Things That Might Happen To You While Using A Lightsaber:

You turn it on while holding it backwards.

You make that sharp crackling noise with your mouth each time you clash it with your opponent's lightsaber—having forgotten that the noise happens naturally.

You've given in to the Dark Side of the Force, so the beam is normally red. But you forget to replace the weak batteries in the thing, rendering it pink, and turning you into the laughingstock of the Empire.

You try to use it to cut your birthday cake, expecting the lightsaber to slice through the pastry as easily as it did Luke's hand. Instead, the cake vaporizes the instant the lightsaber touches it, à la Obi-Wan.

You mistake it for a Popsicle.

Article by Patrick Cassels
.

Livestrong

2007-08-18T22:10:00.000+08:00

The answer is hard work.

On Christmas day, what are you doing?

On January 1, where are you?

Riding my bike?

Absolutely!
.

Lance Armstrong

7-time Tour de France Champion

International Anthem

2007-08-18T04:02:00.000+08:00

And now the end is near. And so I face the final curtain. My friend, I'll say it clear. I'll state my case of which I'm certain. I've lived a life that's full. I've travelled each and every highway. And more, much more than this. I did it my way. Regrets, I've had a few. But then again, too few to mention. I did what I had to do. And saw it through without exemption. I planned each chartered course. Each careful step along the by-way. And more, much more than this. I did it my way. Yes, there were times. I'm sure you knew. When I bit off more than I could chew. But through it all when there was doubt. I ate it up and spit it out. I faced it all. And I stood tall. And did it my way. I've loved, I've laughed, and cried. I've had my fill, my share of losing. And now, as tears subside. I find it all so amusing. To think I did all that. And may I say, not in a shy way. Oh no, oh no, not me. I did it my way. For what is a man, what has he got? If not himself then he has naught. To say the things he truly feels. And not the words of one who kneels. The record shows. I took the blows. And did it my way. Yes, it was my way.
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Love Versus Wong Kar Wai

2007-08-18T03:05:00.000+08:00

Requited love is an impossibility.
.

You will fall in love only once. Obstacles will prevail. The rest of your life is spent recovering.
.

Eroticising their possessions will be the pinnacle of your sexual fulfilment.
.

Anything that distracts you from the pain of your loss is good. Some people are more successful in this regard than others.
.
Hook up with someone. Live with them. Sleep with them. Tag along. Don't be fooled. You are only a transitory distraction. Ask for commitment. Declare your love. Watch the set up evaporate.
.

The most potent way to exist is to occupy someone else's imagination.
.

Desire is kept eternally alive by the impossibility of contact.
.

Modern communication enabling technologies will only heighten your sense of desolation by making you more keenly aware of the fact that no one is trying to call.

Original title:

Things Wong Kar-wai Taught Me About Love

Alice Dallow
.

Alone Again, Naturally

2007-08-16T16:20:00.000+08:00

In a little while from now

If I'm not feeling any less sour
I promise myself to treat myself

And visit a nearby tower

And climbing to the top, will throw myself off

In an effort to make it clear to who

Ever what it's like when you're shattered

Left standing in the lurch at a church

Where people saying: My God, that's tough.

She's stood him up

No point in us remaining

We may as well go home

As I did on my own

Alone again, naturally

To think that only yesterday

I was cheerful, bright, and gay

Looking forward to who wouldn't do

The role I was about to play

But as if to knock me down

Reality came around

And without so much, as a mere touch

Cut me into little pieces

Leaving me to doubt

Talk about God and his mercy

For if He really does exist

Why did He desert me in my hour of need

I truly am indeed alone again, naturally

It seems to me that there are more hearts
Broken in the world that can't be mended

Left unattended

What do we do? What do we do?

Alone again, naturally

Now looking back over the years

And whatever else that appears

I remember I cried when my father died

Never wishing to hide the tears

And at sixty-five years old

My mother, God rest her soul

Couldn't understand why the only man

She had ever loved had been taken

Leaving her to start with a heart so badly broken

Despite encouragement from me

No words were ever spoken

And when she passed away

I cried and cried all day

Alone again, naturally

Gilbert O'Sullivan
.

Cologniac by Gratuity

2007-08-15T02:09:00.000+08:00

I wonder what's in your room. Your dresser, I mean. The personal stuff. Me? Here are my usual essentials:

Cotton, tissue (micro embossed), isopropyl alcohol (70% solution), visine refresh (blue), omega pain killer liniment,
vorwerk chilli brand porous capsicum plaster (expiry date december 2010), cherry chap stick lip balm (sunscreen SPF4), povidone iodine antiseptic 10% solution (for external use only), aceite manzanilla, stabilized chlorine dioxide mouth rinse (maximum protection), breath spray (alcohol free/non aerosol/fresh mint), polo sport deodorant (alcohol free), toothpaste (vitamin fluoride system), 1 box band-aid plastic strips, camphor menthol eucalyptus oil aka vicks vaporub, vitamins a, b complex, c, d, and e, valda pastilles menthol, sugar-free strepsils, white flower, and more.

I also have a small collection of colognes. Never bought one though. An accumulation through years of receiving gifts from family, friends, and ex's. When I was in elementary and high school, we had a seemingly endless supply of Brute and Old Spice coming from relatives in the US. Though I have already given away a few and some I have loved and over used till olfactory overload (like Drakkar and Cool Waters), I still have a few left:

Cumbia Colors by The United Colors of Benetton
Fendi
Fahrenheit by Christian Dior (2 bottles)
XS by Paco Rabanne
Grey Flannel by Geoffrey Beene
Lacoste
Boss by Hugo Boss
and
Givenchy Gentleman

So there.
.

MeCinema (Episode 2)

2007-08-13T02:33:00.005+08:00

.
Further Thoughts
from a
Furthering Filmmaker:
.

Be clear about the general idea or story but don't force details. Script and storyboard are flexible, dispensable, and even unnecessary. Discover and create along the way. Improvise, experiment, and break the rules. Question your standards. Challenge your limitations, limitations are challenges. There is always more than one way of shooting a scene. Exploit camera composition and movement. Master cinematic elements and techniques. Film is audio-visual as well as story telling. Exploit suspension of disbelief. Never aim for realism. The director is both master and servant of the film. The director should be a student and expert of everything. Study great directors but develop own style. Aim for depth, intelligence, sophistication, maturity, perfection, and not entertainment. Never think of or please the audience. Avoid cliches, formula, deus ex machina, the normal, the typical, the usual, the expected. A director does not need to explain himself. Directing is decision making. The goal is self-satisfaction. Film has a life of its own, let the film be. Film is not just about the output but the whole filmmaking process. A film has various meanings, symbolisms, and significance to both its creators and audience. A good film creates more questions than answers. Don't control the film, let it control you.
.

The Best Job In The World

2007-08-12T20:00:00.000+08:00

I once asked Akira Kurosawa why he had chosen to frame a shot in Ran in a particular way. His answer was that if he'd panned the camera one inch to the left, the Sony factory would be sitting there exposed, and if he'd panned an inch to the right, we would see the airport-- neither of which belonged in a period movie. Only the person who's made the movie knows what goes into the decisions that result in any piece of work. They can be anything from budget requirements to divine inspiration...

There's no right or wrong way to direct a movie. What I'm writing about is how I work. For students, take it all; take what you want and throw the rest away; or throw it all away... It's a complex technical and emotional process. It's art. It's commerce. It's heartbreaking and it's fun. It's a great way to live.

Sidney Lumet

Making Movies
.

Texxxt Rated

2007-08-12T16:04:00.000+08:00

I'm sure you've received controversial text messages. Ones which shocked, depressed, angered, surprised, confused, or just plain caught you off-guard. Well, I archive those I get. Let me share them to you (real names witheld of course). I won't give any background explanation anymore. Some are plain enough. As to the rest, use your imagination.

Ms Singer: "Can you keep a secret? Do you know how much I wanted to kill myself? Please don't let anyone know. And please don't ask me why... Good night." (Aug 6, 2007 1:01am)

Mr Funny: "___, automatic naman siguro na sa heaven punta nung bata di ba? 9 years old yun eh... Para panatag loob ko." (Jul 16, 2007 12:19pm)

Mr Quiet: "___ was complaining of abdominal discomfort the past few days but the doctor said sa cough daw iyon. Kagabi he had convulsions then he slowly lost consciousness." (Jul 16, 2007 10:24am)

Ms Teacher: "Allegedly, she hanged herself. Battered wife, left a 5 year old daughter." (Jul 15 2007 10:02pm)

Mr Businessman: "I am so disenchanted with today's church. It has lost its distinctiveness. It's no different from a business establishment." (Jun 13, 2007 12:46am)

Mr Photographer: "May mga kwento kasi tipong night of the living dead sa road batween Pililia and Pakil kaya careful si ___." (Jun 10, 2007 9:01pm)

Mr Relative: "Ok I will visit ___. You know me, palagi ako tumutulong. Your ___ knows it. But they betrayed me. Pero no problem. Jesus knows." (Jun 8, 2007 8:25pm)

Ms Actress: "I'd be too curious to say no." (Jun 7, 2007 9:29pm)

Mr Lawyer: "Ako galing hirap na nagsusumikap umayos ang buhay, ung iba mahirap ganun dahil tamad at walang modo." (May 6, 2007 1:44pm)

Mr Artist: "From ___: I will be working for ___ ___ PR arm. My cousin works for ___ ___, the wife of ___. She confided to my cousin: ___ is GAY. Marriage for convenience lang." (Apr 2, 2007 10:01am)

Mr Boyfriend: "Stop texting ___ already." (Feb 26, 2007 7:05pm)

Ms Love: "Hiniwalayan ako... wala pang one month may sweetie na sya. Sabi niya di pa sila... magulo raw isip nya kung ano gagawin daw nya... Tapos may nangyayari pa rin sa amin... 4x na. Tapos ganito... Hay." (Feb 1, 2007 5:11pm)

Mr Stand-up: "Who the heck is ___ what's his face? Frankly, I find these quotes a waste of my time." (Jan 29, 2007 9:55pm)

Ms Cute: "Nagka crush ako sa yo nung lagi mo ko text and call." (Jan 23, 2007 7:05pm)

Mr Classmate: "I'm losing my faith in God." (Dec 26, 2006 8:53pm)

Ms Model: "I'm not coming back." (Dec 8, 2006 10:20pm)

Mr Band: "___ ___ passed away na. Will let you know the details as soon as I have them." (Dec 8, 2006 9:33am)

Mr Elder: "Siya nga yung disciplinary case, from a reliable source. More than once have undergone disciplinary action. Victim is youth. Confidential muna between us." (Nov 26, 2006 6:03pm)

Mr Colleague: "Please pray for ___, he's in the ICU since yesterday pa. (from Wife)." (Nov 19, 2006 9:08pm)

Mr Angry: "I don't like repeating myself so consider this your last warning... lose my number! Another thing, if you see me stay out of my way." (Aug 5, 2006 2:17pm)

Ms TV: "Patay na daddy ko, pagdasal mo mahuli yung bumaril sa kanya." (Apr 17, 2006 6:16am)

Ms Pretty: "I tried to commit suicide." (Feb 7, 2006 5:51pm)

Ms Abroad: "I watched my debut video the other day nga, na iyak ako." (Apr 25, 2005 12:21pm)

Ms Innocent: "Withdraw tapos gumamit din siya ng condom. Ano ka ba di me preggy." (Mar 29, 2005 12:39am)

Of course I also receive happy, funny, positive, and encouraging texts. But why share them? The ones above are much much more intriguing. Misery loves company.
.

Old Manila

2007-08-12T02:02:00.000+08:00